“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” - Steve Jobs
I don't want to be another voice in your ear telling you that you're screwing this parenting thing up, or even how to do it right, because I don't know what's right for you.
I wanted to be that voice before. Not the one telling you that you're screwing up, but I wanted to be a voice telling you how to do it right because I believe that love is always, always right. I told myself I was evoking positive change in people's lives. And I was, to some extent. I told myself I was standing up for children's rights. I told myself if people would just listen to this message of gentleness and empathy and compassion, the world would be a much better place for my own children to grow up in.
And it would.
I wrote blog posts and Facebook statuses and books because I wanted to help make families closer, gentler, and more connected.
But somewhere along the way I got so lost. So lost in the sea of opinions. There were too many voices in my head and they were drowning out my own inner voice. Studies show this, experts say that. I tried my best to follow the advice of experts that I admired and trusted, but I got so stressed out about it. Stressed that every wrong move would scar my child for life. Boy, that will suck the joy out of parenting!
If I can be really honest here, after I wrote my books, the pressure felt suffocating. My kids can't act like this in Target! I'm a parenting book author for Pete's sake! I felt this totally unrealistic pressure that we all needed to be perfect; like everyone was watching us. Which is silly because I'm sure nobody in any public place we ever went knew I wrote a book. But I knew it, and suddenly my kids had to be perfect and I had to be perfect to prove to the world that this really does work.
I became depressed. Like can I please hide in my bed and no one speak to me ever depressed. Because if I get out of bed, I'll screw something up.
And that's when I quit writing. I quit reading studies and Facebook pages and blog posts. I cleared my head of all the chatter clouding my brain.
I gave myself permission. Permission to not need permission from anybody else to raise my kids the way I felt they needed to be raised.
That's when I realized that the last thing I want to be is just another voice in anybody's head telling you to do this and not do that. Who needs that? There are enough voices.
All I want to be is a friend. A supporter. An encourager. A builder-upper. Because that's what people really need.
I'd like for you to give yourself permission to not need permission to parent your way as well. Free yourself from the have-to's and better never's and the pressure of it all and just breathe. Enjoy your days. Slow down. Listen to your own voice. Laugh more. Be silly. Don't let the pressure of raising your kids become so much that you don't enjoy your kids. They are gifts. Today is a gift. Unwrap it with joy. <3
BeckyPin It Now!