I know from personal experience, and I bet that you do to, that the gift of caring attention has helped me let out feelings that were interfering with my ability to relate well to someone I cared about. Being thoughtfully listened to leaves me feeling connected and understood, especially after I have acted cranky or unkind. It’s a gift that strengthens relationships.
It saddens me to think about the many, many upset or hurt or frightened children who have been sent off to the solitary confinement of their rooms until they can behave “properly.” I know parents love their children, and they probably didn’t have any other way modeled for them growing up, but what a lost opportunity to nurture and support a precious child. That would be like my husband or my best friend telling me, “I have no intention of loving all of you. I only want to see the parts that work for me. Go away until you can be easy for me to deal with.”
Here’s how this change of perspective worked for a mother in one of my classes,
Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet YourEveryday Parenting Challenges.