But kids are kids, and sometimes they act up or get too angry and need to be removed from the situation. I know that my children's frontal lobes, where sequential thinking, logic, and self-regulation take place, are grossly underdeveloped until at least age 6, and the maturity of this region takes a long time. You can read more on that here, if you're interested. I also know that until the brain is regulated (calm), lessons I'm trying to teach my child go in one ear and out the other. So my goal is to help them get regulated (and the more I help them, the quicker they'll learn to regulate themselves!) so that I can then teach them the lesson I want them to learn.
You may have seen the "calm down corner" that America's Supernanny does. It is anything but calming! This, however, is our version of the calm down corner.
Here is the set-up. A comfy Pillow Pet to sit on and a calm down box to engage the brain out of that "fight or flight" mode and back to calm and reason.
Inside the calm down box is our calm down jar made with water, glitter glue, food coloring, and glitter. The idea is to shake the jar, and as you watch the glitter twirl around, it brings your attention onto the motion in the jar and instantly the brain begins to calm. It works for me too, and the boys love it.
Also inside the calm down box are a few books, a drawing pad and markers/pencils, and a container of rice. I made some colorful rice by adding 2 tablespoons of rubbing alcohol and a few drops of food coloring to a plastic baggie of rice and let set overnight.
Once dry, I put the rice into a container, added a few drops of lavender oil for that calming smell, and added a couple of pretty gems and spoons for digging around in.
The final result is a soothing place to go, engage the mind, and get regulated.
I know you may thinking, "What? A fun place to go when they're in trouble?" :) This is not a punishment, but a place to calm the mind. When my kids are regulated, I sit down with them and we talk about what happened and ways to improve or handle things better the next time. After all, the goal is to teach them better so they know what the right thing to do is, and they are much more receptive to my teachings when their brains are calm and regulated.
Of course, they're welcome to go to the box anytime to play, read, and draw. In fact, the more practice they get with it, the better it is for everybody. I'm sure I'll be sitting on that penguin shaking the life out of the jar myself at least once a day. ;-)
*******************************************************************************
eBooks
Are you tired of books that tell you want you should or shouldn't do but don't give you any alternatives?
We were, too! So we've written an eBook specifically to show you what positive parenting looks like in action! Positive Parenting in Action is a 69 page PDF eBook in which we cover 15 behavior areas and walk you through 42 different scenarios! This book covers ages 0-6.
BUY IT NOW! $5.99
Kindle Edition $5.99
If you're new to positive parenting, we have The Newbie's Guide to Positive Parenting. This 30-page PDF eBook will give you clarity and offer you tools and skills that will strengthen your relationship with your child while teaching values and instilling the self-discipline that will benefit your child for a lifetime.
BUY NOW! $1.99
Love the play on the concept of time-in, and using soothing sensory play to engage the parasympathetic nervous system. Being a neuroscience geek, I love the references- so true that the littles simply aren't developmentally ready for a lot of self control. In some of my reading lately, I've also come across the concept that adults' ability to self control can actually be worn out by handling stressful situations- and so often adults expect more self control from children than themselves. Also really practical info and advice- my kids are older but still often need sensory activity- I may try the jars and rice!
ReplyDeleteahhhh... i can feel the peace and calm. wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what we need! My little guy expresses his need to be alone to calm himself, but he has a very hard time doing so. I think that all of the "ingredients" in your box make perfect sense and would help him out a lot!
ReplyDeleteI love this idea and will work on a box/corner of our own!
ReplyDelete