I saw this great idea on Here We Are Together and knew it would be perfect for our home. I don't do the traditional time-outs with my kids because they push away rather than bring closer, and connection and relationship are at the heart of this family.
But kids are kids, and sometimes they act up or get too angry and need to be removed from the situation. I know that my children's frontal lobes, where sequential thinking, logic, and self-regulation take place, are grossly underdeveloped until at least age 6, and the maturity of this region takes a long time. You can read more on that here, if you're interested. I also know that until the brain is regulated (calm), lessons I'm trying to teach my child go in one ear and out the other. So my goal is to help them get regulated (and the more I help them, the quicker they'll learn to regulate themselves!) so that I can then teach them the lesson I want them to learn.
You may have seen the "calm down corner" that America's Supernanny does. It is anything but calming! This, however, is our version of the calm down corner.
Here is the set-up. A comfy Pillow Pet to sit on and a calm down box to engage the brain out of that "fight or flight" mode and back to calm and reason.
Inside the calm down box is our calm down jar made with water, glitter glue, food coloring, and glitter. The idea is to shake the jar, and as you watch the glitter twirl around, it brings your attention onto the motion in the jar and instantly the brain begins to calm. It works for me too, and the boys love it.
Also inside the calm down box are a few books, a drawing pad and markers/pencils, and a container of rice. I made some colorful rice by adding 2 tablespoons of rubbing alcohol and a few drops of food coloring to a plastic baggie of rice and let set overnight.
Once dry, I put the rice into a container, added a few drops of lavender oil for that calming smell, and added a couple of pretty gems and spoons for digging around in.
The final result is a soothing place to go, engage the mind, and get regulated.
I know you may thinking, "What? A fun place to go when they're in trouble?" This is not a punishment, but a place to calm the mind. When my kids are regulated, I sit down with them and we talk about what happened and ways to improve or handle things better the next time. After all, the goal is to teach them better so they know what the right thing to do is, and they are much more receptive to my teachings when their brains are calm and regulated.
Of course, they're welcome to go to the box anytime to play, read, and draw. In fact, the more practice they get with it, the better it is for everybody. I'm sure I'll be sitting on that penguin shaking the life out of the jar myself at least once a day. ;-)