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Tuesday, April 1, 2014

How To Stop Yelling by Lori Petro

Are you a yeller? God help me, I KNOW this one well. Just ask my kid "how could I be a better mom?" and she will likely tell you, "She shouldn't get so angry." Ohhh, how I TRY!
I recently watched the documentary The Lottery of Birth and was reminded of how little choice we have when it comes to our behaviors, beliefs and habits which are largely unconscious and automatic.   We truly are just a amalgam of everything we've ever heard, seen or read.  Rarely do we escape the influences of the world around us - and specifically the patterns of those closest to us.  And, our kids will mirror for us those EXACT behaviors of which we are unaware. I grew up in a family where everyone yelled, even if they were saying "I love you."  
"Man will become better when you can show him what he is like."
- Anton Chekhov
You might yell if your parents did or maybe when you: feel unheard feel frustrated feel stressed and without resources want more choice desire more recognition have unmet needs I think we can adapt our behaviors and learn to cope when we consciously CHOOSE to be aware. But sometimes we get stuck in that place of "what to do instead?"


In today's brand new episode of TEACHable Moments I'm sharing 5 action steps you can start doing RIGHT NOW to STOP yelling!

Your family history will tell you a lot about the root cause of your yelling.  When your child disagrees with your limits and shows you with his own huffs, yelling or threats of destruction, you may be used to reacting by matching his intensity - to prove your point, or your power by arguing, over-explaining or trying to provide endless reasons for why you are rightly enforcing this limit. When you take the time to be conscious, you won't allow your unconscious fears and automatic reactions to take over.  Instead, you'll gradually improve your ability to maintain your composure, even when your children can't! So, I'd like to know - what is your NEW PLAN? What tools can you use to engage your senses and calm yourself down?  After your watch, share your ideas in the comments because you just might inspire someone else toward the change that they were needing!  Thank you so much for watching! Have a beautiful week.

Warmly, Lori
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Lori Petro is a Mom, Children’s Advocate and Speaker. She is passionate about transforming our world through conscious parenting compassionate communication, and peaceful conflict resolution. You can find Lori's 47-page eBook plus audio download, The ABCs of Conscious Parenting, retail value $68, in the Essential Parenting Collection. To view the entire collection, click here.

It is also part of the Mindful Guidance mini-bundle which you can purchase separately if you choose. To view the Mindful Guidance mini bundle, click here.


















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1 comment:

  1. Thank you Lori for your tips in stopping yelling. Yelling in my family was also common, however when I yell at my toddlers I feel extremely sorry myself. I know my yelling mainly should be to prove my point to them. I will try the breathing, sometimes it seems to me that my yelling happens really unconsciously (unfortunately). Thank you.

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