You Blew It. Now What?
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Despite our best efforts to be conscious, positive parents, we humans make mistakes. We’ll never be perfect, and that’s okay for our kids to see, because they’ll never be perfect either. Seeing how you admit mistakes and make amends can be a really great lesson for them.
Mistakes are opportunities to learn and improve, for us and for our children, and maintaining that mindset will prevent us from dwelling with shame. If your parenting performance today was less than stellar, here are 3 steps to repair the relationship with your child.
Admit Your Mistake.
What you can say to your child: “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I lost my cool, and you didn’t deserve that.”
The key here is to not lay blame on the child for your reactions. “I’m sorry I yelled, but you made me so mad” lays the blame on the little one. We are the adults, and our emotional reactions are our responsibility alone.
Some parents don’t want to admit mistakes or apologize for fear of looking weak or like they’re not in authority, but admission and apologizing takes courage. If we want children to own up to their mistakes and make amends for their wrongdoings, we have to set an example of that.
Learn Your Lesson
When we see mistakes as an opportunity to learn and improve, we have to take the learning and improving part seriously! Otherwise, we just excuse ourselves for bad behavior and end up repeating it over and over again. Review the events that led up to your reaction to understand what the trigger was. Once you learn what triggers your negative reactions, you can improve by creating a plan of action for the next time it happens.
Reconnect With Your Child
Rifts in relationships happen. Teaching children how to repair these rifts will help them build meaningful, healthy relationships in the future. Spend some special time with your child laughing and having fun together. Laughter is a connecter. It brings us closer and allows negative feelings to dissipate.
Progress, not perfection, is the goal of a conscious parent. We all fall. It’s what you decide to do once you’re on the ground that defines who you are.
Rise up, make amends, and keep moving.
As seen at Creative Child